Don’t you start losing weight before you read this!

If all the research around the globe, your doctors, dieticians, trainers, etc. are anything to go by, you’d believe weight loss is the best solution to all your problems. Companies promising to aid you with your weight loss actually thrive, flourish and often get investments from gullible investors who are impressed with that slide in their presentation showcasing how India is No.1 in the number of diabetics, obese people, heart disease, etc. Potential they call it, isn’t it?

I fell for it too and tried sticking with it for a while this time. I am one of those people who are very ‘dense’ if you can call it that. We ‘dense’ people as we’d like to call ourselves, pack quite a punch in our bodies. Our mass per volume ratio is so high, it would put Osmium to shame. I am tired of trainers telling me, ‘Madam, aapka bone strong hai. Aapke muscles zabardust hai’. Okay, the point is this – whatever we try, we DO NOT lose weight. But inches, yes. That baby is good to me. Coming back to what I was talking about (Warning: I’m in the running for this year’s award by The Council of Unwanted Digression in Journalism), I did lose lots of inches (and a teeny-weeny bit of weight).

Before you start going all teary-eyed and congratulating me (and giving me a thumbs up on whatsapp!), let me confess – I am not happy with my inch loss.

What do I do with my cupboard of clothes, which are two sizes larger now? I can’t give away that kurta my daughter pissed on for the first time. Or the dress I wore for that Q3 party which I waited for all year? I’m not out of my mind to spend money on sexy dresses and well-fitting clothes, just because I look slimmer now.

I am 36 and used to look 36. Thank you. But ever since I am the thinner me, people seem to think I am much younger and don’t take me seriously. Hmmpphh!

I was comfortable with being almost invisible. No one ever gave me a second glance and I was more than happy with that. This new-found attention from members of the opposite sex gets me all nervous (ahem!).

I see stock prices of certain food companies going down and I honestly think I am responsible for it. Think of all their employees, their dependent families. You’ll now understand why I regret my new ‘healthy’ lifestyle.

My friendships are suffering. The time I used to spend talking to friends and whatsapping them is now being spent exercising. I can’t bear to see the jealousy in their eyes too.

Even my favourite TV channel’s not spared. I recently saw its TRPs go down and I cursed myself. It must be me! From 4 hours to a measly half an hour – I am sure I am singlehandedly responsible for the drastic TRP fall!

You still want to lose weight after reading all this? Well, wish you all the best! Here’s all you need to get started on your weight loss regime.

9 smart ways to lose weight without exercise

13 ways to boost your metabolism and lose weight easily

These 4 small changes will help you lose weight effectively

True weight loss story — How a 20-year-old lost 20 kg in 4 months

True weight loss story: How Amit Makhija lost 25 kg and transformed himself!

Photo source: Ishaqzaade movie still

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