* New book details personal battles and fighting AIDS
* John says AIDS victim Ryan White changed his life
* Singer-songwriter says has found personal redemption
WASHINGTON, Aug 3 (Reuters) - More than 20 years ago
singer-songwriter Elton John was, by his own admission, living a
disgusting life of self-pity and drug abuse. Then he met Ryan
White.
White was an American teenager who in 1984 contracted the
virus that causes AIDS through a blood transfusion due to his
hemophilia. He was expelled from school because of fear of the
disease and became a vocal advocate of HIV/AIDS awareness and
prevention.
White died in April 1990 at the age of 18, but not before he
had blazed a trail that would change the lives of thousands of
people, and thousands more who came after his death, including
the star piano player who befriended him.
"I used to sit in front of my CD player and listen ... and
cry my eyes out, thinking, 'I'm a decent person, why can't I get
well? Why can't I get better? I'm living the most disgusting
life, I've no values anymore,'" John told Reuters in a recent
interview.
"(Now), I'm the luckiest person in the world and it's all
because one young boy and his family showed me what they were
doing was right and what I was doing was disgusting."
John recently published his first book, "Love Is the Cure:
On Life, Loss, and the End of AIDS," which is less autobiography
and more an accounting of how far society and medicine have come
in dealing with the disease and how far they still have to go.
But the book does recount details of the 65-year-old
performer's own life and his addiction to cocaine and alcohol.
He said the overall theme is of salvation -- his, as well as
that of others whose worlds can be changed with a little
compassion.
John has recorded mega-hits like "Candle in the Wind," won
Grammys, an Oscar and a Tony. But he said White, his mother and
sister had a more profound impact on him than musical glory.
NO SELF-ESTEEM
When he first met the Whites, John saw a group of people who
should be angry because Ryan White had been ostracized for
contracting the disease through a blood transfusion. Yet the
teen and his family were just the opposite, giving their time
and energy to help others with the disease.
"What was completely chiseled in my soul, was: 'You're
leading a terrible life. You are a disgusting person,'" John
said of himself. "I had no self-esteem whatsoever. I looked at
Ryan; I looked at me, and the difference was a billion miles."
So John changed. By his own admission, he got clean and
sober and has now been in a 19-year relationship with partner
David Furnish, with whom he is raising a son, while continuing
to perform around the world.
The British singer also became a vocal advocate for AIDS
victims. This year marks the 20th anniversary of the Elton John
AIDS Foundation, which has raised and donated $275 million to
hundreds of projects focusing on those at risk and marginalized
in 55 countries.
John was a featured speaker at last month's International
AIDS Conference in Washington, where researchers sounded hopeful
that a vaccine was within reach.
Thanks to drugs that can control the virus, healthcare
providers and people living with AIDS are better-equipped to
battle the disease. New infections have fallen by 21 percent
since the pandemic's peak in 1997 and advances in prevention
promise to cut that rate even more. Still, as many as 34 million
people worldwide are infected with the human immunodeficiency
virus.
John is quick to say he does not know much about the science
or research into HIV/AIDS. What he does know is how it affects
people who continue to be stigmatized by it, and how becoming
involved helped to redeem him.
"I could drop dead tomorrow and I would die a happy man
because I have had my redemption. I can be proud of myself now,
and God knows I wasn't in the past, and that's the terrible
thing about addiction," he said.
"Three words changed my life: 'I need help.' ... There are
some things in life that you cannot do on your own. It's much
better to share and to reach out. I learned that lesson," John
said.
(Writing by Bob Tourtellotte; editing by Matthew Lewis)